Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Randomize
