she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
it's like heaven, but drunker
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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