break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
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I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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