You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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