Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Randomize
