i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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