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  • 75 61
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 27, 09 at 2:34pm

    Zach and Cassie are giant douche bags.

  • 72 60
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 28, 09 at 8:52am

    "bite my shiny metal ass!!"

  • 68 54
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 27, 09 at 2:03pm

    Ur a Fucking LIAR. Go back to ur parents basement loser.

  • 69 57
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 27, 09 at 3:57pm

    You really posted "first"? Get off this site you fucking loser.

  • 69 60
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 28, 09 at 4:15am

    My last name is Bender!(: But I'm not from this area code!

  • 66 54
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 27, 09 at 3:25pm

    2:57, you're an idiot!!!

  • 69 62
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 27, 09 at 10:59pm

    you should kno that redbull and vodka can make your heart stop....

  • 64 55
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 28, 09 at 8:53am

    ... Glad this isn't my area code... Good old failing 831 yet again eludes the failure of tfln...

  • 63 58
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 28, 09 at 5:34pm

    "I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue..."

  • 63 62
    Submitted by blkowT on Jan 30, 10 at 3:35pm

    that's how you do it! hahaha!

  • 57 53
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 27, 09 at 8:19pm

    Did you hear about the new Jewish Sportscar? It can stop on a dime.....and then pick it up.

  • 64 68
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 2, 10 at 12:14am

    What a shitty bender. If you can't involve more than one substance you're doing it wrong.

  • 59 58
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 27, 09 at 8:22pm

    Did you hear about the Jewish kid who asked his dad if he could borrow five dollars?? His dad says "Four dollars!?! What the hell do you need three dollars for?!?"

  • 59 58
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 27, 09 at 1:28pm

    Second to call first Cm

  • 57 55
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 28, 09 at 8:39am

    When is this site going to just be simplified to "you were so drunk that you did something wacky" and "look at me I'm drunk and it's daytime". Seriously this is worthless. All you have to do is make up some retarded thing that falls under these 2 outlines and the mods, who have the sense of humor of a wet towel, will post it

  • 62 65
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 27, 09 at 4:17pm

    you do realize that alcohol is a depressant so it cancels out the red bull which is stimulant.

  • 58 60
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 28, 09 at 10:38am

    8:39 is my man! I can already imagine what the people who post these texts will be like in ten years. Fat, employed at Mcdonald's, chronic liver problems....oh wait, that probably describes them now.

  • 62 76
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 27, 09 at 1:29pm

    San Francisco holllaaa

  • 60 74
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 31, 09 at 1:56am

    Bite my shiny metal ass!

  • 53 68
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 30, 09 at 2:15am

    Well la-Dee-fricken-dAa