Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
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