What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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