This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Randomize
