you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
