There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Randomize
