Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
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