i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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