One girl and one boy is just not enough.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
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