We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
