Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
how does that bad decision feel?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
