piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
