I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Randomize
