a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
