This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Randomize
