I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
