Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize