I seem to have left my pride at pride
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
