Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
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