The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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