Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I can't put those talents on a resume
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize