Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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