idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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