now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
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She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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