Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
