Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
