Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
