I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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