your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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