how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Someone came in the potted fern
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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