she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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