i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
