they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
No I am not eating basil off your cock
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
