Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
