all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Randomize