Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
