with your own penis?
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
