Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I FOUND THE LEGS
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Randomize
