I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
