Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
