if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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