Don't you send me to vm
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
