careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
