i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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