Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Randomize
