He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
