I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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