There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
