That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.