He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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