pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck