Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
about cumming, not toast
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again