also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
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I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
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it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Let's get the cat blown out
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.