It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
