You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever