Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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