He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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