I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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