I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
