ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
