His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize
