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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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