I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
