last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
