And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
