I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
