How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
