Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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