me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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