But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
