my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
